I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Can I color on your dick again?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
If I die, sorry about rent.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
