She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
