Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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