Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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