What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
