she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
