I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
