No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
