My friends, they love my intelligence
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
