East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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