hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Is it penis luge time yet?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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