did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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