Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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