So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize