I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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