I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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