I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
