Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
