I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
