Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
