Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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