Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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