im about as happy as oj after his trial
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
