He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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