Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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