So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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