I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
