When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
