I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
