im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
