I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
he was CRYING into my vagina
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Randomize
