Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
