He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
