It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize