dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
ttyl tear gas
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
