We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
