everyone is single if you try hard enough
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
