She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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