I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
this beer tastes like vomit already
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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