every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
