Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
It's official drugs can't kill me
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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