I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
