he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
