I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
