Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We are two peas in an std pod
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
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