Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
