Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize