But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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