Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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