I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
