I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize