you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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