I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
