Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
