i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
