Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
